Misfits of Incredulity

Stuff from Ross Bennett. Not the stand-up comic or the fashion designer, but a different one.

likeavirgil:

yeah so everyone thinks conjugating YOLO is funny and cool
but everyone forgets the best one
feminine nominative singular future passive participle
"she who must only be lived once":
…
YOLANDA

Yolanda est in atrio.

likeavirgil:

yeah so everyone thinks conjugating YOLO is funny and cool

but everyone forgets the best one

feminine nominative singular future passive participle

"she who must only be lived once":

YOLANDA

Yolanda est in atrio.

Business broadband. $135/month. Still hasn’t answered my tech support emails from the weekend.
Net Neutrality!?—I just would like some Internet.

Business broadband. $135/month. Still hasn’t answered my tech support emails from the weekend.

Net Neutrality!?—I just would like some Internet.

friendlythestral:

I think that Minerva McGonagall was fully aware that the marauders were trying to become animagi and she may or may not have carefully placed some useful reference books, some of which may or may not have been her own personal copies, in the library where she knew they would find them.

“You called her a liar?”
“Yes.”
“You told her He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is back?”
“Yes.”
Professor McGonagall sat down behind her desk, frowning at Harry . Then she said, “Have a biscuit, Potter.”
“Have — what?”
“Have a biscuit,” she repeated impatiently, indicating a tartan tin of cookies lying on top of one of the piles of papers on her desk. “And sit down.”
—J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix 

broken-gaydar:

starrygraveyard:

andr3wdost:

nathanieljosephruess:

herfunnyvideos:

lockedinabirdcage:

GUYS I JUST REALIZED WHY PAPER BEATS ROCK OH MY GOD

PAPER SYMBOLIZES WORDS WHICH SYMBOLIZES BRAINS

AND ROCK SYMBOLIZES BRAWN.

BRAINS OVER BRAWN.

MIND OVER MATTER.

PAPER OVER ROCK.

You clever little shit.

then what the fuck does scissors mean

lesbians

what

image

Obviously, lesbians are divine beauty.

Beauty is truth.

Truth triumphs over reason.

Truth will set you free.

Scissors beat paper.

I’m a t-shirt printer a town called Kilgore, Texas. Our local high school has had a slogan—Respect the K—for a couple of years. A student in the Media Club came up with that and it caught on like gangbusters. So you can imagine it’s appeared in our print shop many times. (Believe me—I’m very happy with this.)
Every once in a while one aims to misbehave, if still being respectful of the source while being ornery. We’ve created the occasional Science Club thing [periodic tables saying”Respect the Potassium”], but this is my favorite variation so far.

I’m a t-shirt printer a town called Kilgore, Texas. Our local high school has had a slogan—Respect the K—for a couple of years. A student in the Media Club came up with that and it caught on like gangbusters. So you can imagine it’s appeared in our print shop many times. (Believe me—I’m very happy with this.)

Every once in a while one aims to misbehave, if still being respectful of the source while being ornery. We’ve created the occasional Science Club thing [periodic tables saying”Respect the Potassium”], but this is my favorite variation so far.

I truly, madly, deeply love my tumblpeeps.
Also a fan of juxtasposition.

I truly, madly, deeply love my tumblpeeps.

Also a fan of juxtasposition.

“Your gift of just pennies a day can arm a child during the prolonged siege of her remote village.”

– Ross Bennett, Lines That Probably Won’t Make the Final Draft of This Work

memeguy-com:

Some signs exist because theyre practical Others have a hell of a story behind them

In my youth I once flipped through Title 21 of the Oklahoma Code (“Crimes and Punishments”) and learned there was a law against giving beer to a dog. All I could think was, What kind of a place is this where such a thing must impinge upon the deliberations of the legislature?

memeguy-com:

Some signs exist because theyre practical Others have a hell of a story behind them

In my youth I once flipped through Title 21 of the Oklahoma Code (“Crimes and Punishments”) and learned there was a law against giving beer to a dog. All I could think was, What kind of a place is this where such a thing must impinge upon the deliberations of the legislature?

crownedconsultingcriminal:

lumos5000:

dangerhamster:

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS SCENE

OK, so this scene wasn’t originally scripted. RTD added it into the script based on Bernard Cribbins’ experience of the war.

Bernard Cribbins fought in World War Two

Bernard Cribbins never killed a man

And Bernard Cribbins is incredibly proud of that. 

AND IN THAT MOMENT I LOVED WILFRED MOTT’S CHARACTER EVEN MORE!!

One of the best things in the world is when you realize the real human beings can be even more marvelous than the characters they play. And it happens all the time.

neil-gaiman:

hapfairy:

Good Omens fans!

With regards to the upcoming radio show, I’ve seen a few people saying “I’ll just pirate it” or “I’ll wait for it to get put up on YouTube”.

You don’t need to do this! http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/ -should- be listenable from any country, as long as you have a computer, the internet and the world isn’t, y’know, ending…

This means that you can listen to it when it airs, and it’s likely that the episodes will be up for a week or so after they air (this is usually the case) so you won’t miss any.

I had to explain this a lot when NEVERWHERE came out from the BBC. THere’s not a lot of point in pirating something that is yours for free — and they LOVE you downloading it and streaming it legitimately as that means it’s popular.

I’ll remind you of all of this in December.

Only the very scrunchiest of noodlers will notice the difference, but the iPlayer audio stream outside of the UK is of a mildly lower bitrate than one will get within the UK. Most listeners won’t notice, though there is an ever-just-noticeabe difference in stereo separation and dynamic range.

For the audiophile one hopes there will be an eventual omnibus release through Audible—though one should take care these don’t metamorphose into Best of Queen.

“Get out of the waves. Get out of the water.”

– Kate Bush, Hello Earth

Please prove me wrong? »

ishouldbewhat:

I remember Joan Rivers as a “comedienne” whose humor centered around putting down other women and using racial stereotypes to make uncouth jokes, even when it was not necessarily “in” for female comediennes to do so. Is there a part of her that I’m missing? Was the person she seemed to be on…

In the spirit of the 100% Being Honest tag [ :-) ], I’ll have to say I haven’t kept up with her in recent years.

Back in the day, when there was a nightly Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, there would be times when various folks would cover the nights Johnny had off. There were some one-offs—Kermit the Frog on one memorable occasion—but mostly it would be a regular stand-in.  At various times David Brenner, David Letterman, Garry Shandling and quite a few others would cover quite a few. Johnny launched many a career through spotting comics on his show and guest-hosting was one of his ways of grooming up-and-coming talent.

Joan Rivers made the Tonight Show and was playing the comedy circuits back in those days. And she was always something of an “insult comic.” Like Don Rickles. Except her bit was more catty—liable to fall on a backhanded compliment that would culminate in criticizing a target’s hips, or how low someone’s breasts had started sagging, how severe their recent nose job had been.

For years she was a routine fixture sitting in for Johnny and was designated an official fill-in host.  But then she was offered her own talk show development deal on—was it Fox? UPN?—another network. I have a vague recollection that her time slot actually ran up across from Johnny Carson, and he was reported to take it as quite a betrayal.

Her own show tanked. She had burned her bridges with a lot of people to jump in with an unproven competing talk-show slot, so opportunities for work were getting slim.

I remember about that time she had gotten quite bitter, and the tone of her routine changed. It wasn’t just insults, it was nasty. I remember the first time I’d seen something she’d done and I was taken aback by how outright nasty it had gotten.  She had gone from something marginally forgivable as an insult comic to being inexcusably vicious and offensive. I think part of it was trying to sensationalize the routine to stay in the public eye and get attention in the tabloids.

Then she finally found something of a recurring gig making commentaries of red-carpet events where she and her daughter made snide remarks about the vagaries of couture and coiffure. I think even that was not well received by folks.

So—yeah. Once upon a time she was a regular feature in America’s homes, and probably people thought reasonably well of her.  But things did go sour, and when it had been sour for a long time, it got bitter, too. At the end it was a lot of undirected and misdirected hate and dissatisfaction.

Sorry I can’t prove you wrong, though.  I think you pretty much got it right.  Though, maybe, in context, if one went back to 1979….

Anonymous asked: why do black people use you in the wrong context? such is "you ugly" instead of "you're ugly" I know u guys can differentiate, it's a nuisance

miniprof:

rsbenedict:

prettyboyshyflizzy:

you a bitch

It’s called copula deletion, or zero copula. Many languages and dialects, including Ancient Greek and Russian, delete the copula (the verb to be) when the context is obvious.

So an utterance like “you a bitch” in AAVE is not an example of a misused you, but an example of a sentence that deletes the copular verb (are), which is a perfectly valid thing to do in that dialect, just as deleting an /r/ after a vowel is a perfectly valid thing to do in an upper-class British dialect.

What’s more, it’s been shown that copula deletion occurs in AAVE exactly in those contexts where copula contraction occurs in so-called “Standard American English.” That is, the basic sentence “You are great” can become “You’re great” in SAE and “You great” in AAVE, but “I know who you are” cannot become “I know who you’re” in SAE, and according to reports, neither can you get “I know who you” in AAVE.

In other words, AAVE is a set of grammatical rules just as complex and systematic as SAE, and the widespread belief that it is not is nothing more than yet another manifestation of deeply internalized racism.

Languages often branch into subtypes, dialects, and variations. Depending on which linguist you ask, you may find English can be further classified into fourteen major groups or more.

Here’s what people should take from this: When you hear a usage or style you are unfamiliar with, you should never assume that the speakers or writers are failing to adhere to a usage or style you might compare it to.

What you might at first consider to be a mistake is simply a usage you are unfamiliar with.